How to Buy Thoughtful Gifts for Your Wife

Are you a wife who’s tired of her husband’s thoughtless gift giving?

Is he the type who does a last-minute search for “best gift for wife” or “thoughtful gifts for her” and chooses the first thing that catches his eye?

Then you end up with something you don’t want or need and will never use.  Or maybe even something you already own.

My husband is a bad gift giver too.

For some women, this wouldn’t be a big relationship issue.  Some husbands don’t even buy their wives gifts, yet they somehow manage to stay happily married.

But for me, and many other women like me, this is a big issue. 

Since my “love language” is receiving gifts, thoughtful gifts are important to me.  I’m sure there are many other women who are hurt by their husband’s thoughtless gift giving too.

That’s why I decided to write this little guide on how to give a thoughtful gift for our husbands.

So, for all the wives who are tired of getting thoughtless gifts, email this to your husband, tag him in it on Facebook or print it off and tape it to his computer screen.

For the Husband Who Is A Bad Gift Giver

Dear Husbands,

If your wife has asked you to read this, it’s because you are a thoughtless gift giver.

And she is tired of the crappy gifts.

Reading an article titled “50 Thoughtful Gifts for Her” isn’t going to help you find the best gift for her. 

Sure, you might see some good ideas online. 

If you google “What is a special gift for wife?”, “what is the best gift to impress a girl?”, or “What is the best gift for wife” you’ll find many articles with links to gifts that wives will supposedly love.

But YOUR wife may not.

Why?

Because the people who wrote those articles don’t know your wife.

You do.

That’s why instead of telling you what you should buy your wife, I’m going to teach you how to buy a thoughtful gift for her. 

What is a Thoughtful Gift

A thoughtful gift is one that shows your wife that you truly know her and that you have paid attention to her. 

A thoughtful gift that shows her that you truly know her is one that is relevant to your wife’s interests, passions, hobbies and the things that are significant to her. This may not even be a physical gift, but an outing, activity or even a well-planned romantic night at home.

When you give your wife a gift that reflects her life and values or has a special significance to her, you show her that you truly know her.

A gift that shows her that you have paid attention to her, is one that is something your wife wants or needs, but hasn’t specifically asked you for.

Yah, I know what you’re thinking.  Why don’t we just ask you for it if we want it?

Because, as soon as we tell you what we want, it becomes a meaningless gift.

Knowing that you have listened and paid attention to us, and then remembered later on, is what makes a gift truly thoughtful. 

When you get the perfect thoughtful gift for her, it’s not about what is under the wrapping paper.  It’s about the connection she feels between the two of you because you know her so well.

How To Give A Thoughtful Gift

Your wife tells you and shows you what she wants all the time.  You probably just haven’t been paying attention. 

The way to stop your thoughtless gift-giving pattern, so you can start buying thoughtful gifts for her, is knowing what to watch and listen for.

How To Give A Thoughtful Gift Step 1- Pay Attention

You never know when your wife is going to drop a hint about something she wants. 

It’s up to you to make sure you don’t miss out on these hints.

So, pay attention to her!

It really is that simple.

How To Give A Thoughtful Gift Step 2 – Listen

Your wife does tell you what she wants. 

She just doesn’t use the words “I want”.

When a woman says something like “I wish I had a nice necklace to go with this dress”, she is telling you something she wants or needs.

What else might you hear?

 “Did I tell you that Suzie’s Husband surprised her with ______ for her birthday.” 

“Isn’t that so romantic.”

“That’s really pretty”

 “I’ve always wanted a ______”

“I’ve always wanted to go to______”

 “I don’t have any nice _______ to wear”

She also might tell you about a new book or movie she’s interested in, mention that something she has is broken or not working the way she needs it to, or mention a new activity she’s heard about.

Pay attention to the things she says, and you will learn to recognize when she’s dropping an obvious gift hint.

How To Give A Thoughtful Gift Step 3 – Watch

Not all the hints your wife drops will be things that she says.  Sometimes you will need to watch for these subtle, and not-so-subtle, hints too.

Like when you go shopping with her.

Instead of taking off to the electronics section, stay with her so you can see what she’s looking at. 

Watching for these hints will be a bit harder and will require you to engage in conversation about it to confirm her interest.  Don’t assume that just because she looked at something it means that she wants it. 

How To Give A Thoughtful Gift Step 4 – Take Note

Chances are you won’t remember the earrings she was looking at on your shopping trip months later when it’s your anniversary. 

When your wife drops these gift hints, write them down. 

Start a note on your phone, or on a paper notepad if you prefer, titled Thoughtful Gifts for Her.  Add to it all year long, and you will have lots of gift ideas to choose from for every occasion.

How To Give A Thoughtful Gift Step 5 – Think

Remember, not every thoughtful gift for your wife is going to be one that she’s hinted she wants.

You know what your wife’s interests are, what her hobbies are, what she collects, what she likes to do and what is meaningful to her.

Take the time to really think about these things and what you could get her that reflects them.

How To Give A Thoughtful Gift Step 6 – Plan Ahead

Stop trying to find last-minute birthday gifts for your wife.

Plan what you will get her ahead of time.

Trust me guys, we know when your half an hour late coming home from work the day before our birthday, that you’re out grabbing us a last-minute present and card. 

Planning ahead is how your wife always gets you the things you really want. 

The day after you tell her when the newest Call of Duty is coming out, she’s looking online to see when she can preorder it and marking the date on her calendar.

Give yourself extra time to find the perfect gift for her by setting yourself a reminder at least a month before the special occasion. 

If she points something out to you while you’re shopping with her, you may want to go back to the store and pick it up right away instead of going back 2 months later and hoping it’s still there.

What Not to Buy Your Wife

Gifts for The House

If your wife enjoys baking, the expensive stand mixer she was looking at would be a great thoughtful gift for her. 

But if cooking is something she does because she has too, not because she wants too, then her mentioning that she needs to buy a new food processor because the old one broke was not a gift hint.

Buying things that are used to cook or clean (unless she has actually asked for them or hinted that she wants them) are really gifts for the house, not for your wife.

Things She Already Owns

The only way that buying something she already owns can be considered a thoughtful gift for her, is if it is an upgrade.

That means it’s more expensive, better quality or bigger than the one she owns.

Let’s say you notice your wife straightens her hair every morning, so you’re thinking a new hair straightener would be a good gift.

Good job for paying enough attention to notice that. But since she already owns a hair straightener the only way that this would be a thoughtful gift is if you get her a much better one.

I don’t mean upgrading her from the $25 model to the $40 model. There needs to be a significant difference in quality.

Candles and Body Care Sets

If your wife loves candles, buying her one in her favorite scent would be a thoughtful gift for her.  If she never lights the candles she owns, it is a thoughtless gift.

If you notice your wife is getting low on her favorite perfume, buying her more with some matching lotion would be thoughtful.  But buying her whatever body care set you can find at Walmart will show her that you really didn’t know what to get her. 

That’s why we buy these things for your mom. 

Gym Membership or Exercise Equipment

Unless she asked for it, don’t even go there.

Gift Cards

Gift cards are the biggest thoughtless gift giving mistake you can make with your spouse. 

Giving your wife a gift card is no different than saying “go buy your own gift”. 

Gifting Flowers

Flowers can be a really thoughtful gift.

But husbands who buy their wives flowers for every occasion, with nothing else, are thoughtless gift-givers.

There comes a point when your wife will realize you are only buying her flowers because you can’t think of another thoughtful gift for her.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t buy flowers at all (unless your wife really doesn’t care to get flowers). 

They just can’t be the only gift to celebrate a special occasion.

When you should give your wife flowers

• When they are being given in addition to an actual gift on a special occasion.
• When you and your wife have agreed not to buy gifts for a special occasion.
• To mark a less significant anniversary that you don’t celebrate (like the anniversary of when you started dating or some other special event that you want to show her you remember).
• When you know your wife is having a bad day and you want to show her that you care.
• When you messed up and need to apologize (in addition to a sincere apology).
• To celebrate an achievement (new job, promotion, pregnancy).
• To add to the spring/fall/valentines/Christmas decorations your wife worked hard to put up.
• For no reason at all (most women love this!).

You can’t just give her any flower either. You need to know what her favorite is, or if there are any particular flowers that are significant to her or for the occasion you are celebrating.

If you really want to impress her on your anniversary, buy her the same flowers she had in her wedding bouquet. 

FAQ’s About Gifts for The Wife

Can I gift money to my wife?

No. Giving your wife money is no different than giving her a gift card (see above).

What is the best birthday gift for a wife?

Your wife’s birthday is a day to celebrate her existence.  It’s also a great opportunity to show her that you do listen to her, so get her something off your Thoughtful Gifts for Her list.   

How can I make my wife’s birthday special?

If you really want to make her day special, don’t just focus on finding the best birthday gift for her, give her a break for the day too. 

Get up with the kids and let her sleep in.  Do all the cleaning for the day.  Take her out for dinner.  Put the kids to bed by yourself while she takes a relaxing bath.  Then make her favorite drink and snack and watch her favorite movie with her.

What are some thoughtful Christmas gifts for a wife?

Just like birthday gifts, Christmas is a great occasion to give her something she has hinted that she wants, though one romantic or meaningful gift would be nice too.

Don’t forget about her stocking either. 

If you aren’t sure what some good stocking stuffers for her are, check and see if she is low on any makeup, perfume, shampoo, or body wash.  Maybe get a bath bomb or two too.

You can also get her some of her favorite chocolates or candies or a bottle of wine or liquor. You may even be able to find some small supplies she would use for her hobby.

Should I buy my wife an Easter present?

Unless this is a really significant holiday for your wife, she probably isn’t expecting a present.  But you can still be sweet and pick her up a chocolate bunny.

What is the best gift for my wife on our wedding anniversary?

Anniversaries are the best occasion to get a romantic gift for your wife.  This is the day to celebrate the time you have spent together.

Instead of giving her something that he has hinted at from your Thoughtful Gifts for Her list, focus more on finding a thoughtful gift that shows her that you truly know her. Think of something that will be meaningful or significant to her.

If you really can’t think of anything, most women love getting jewelry. Find something that you know she will think is beautiful or a charm that that reflects her interests and passions.

What do you buy your wife for Valentine’s day?

Like anniversaries, Valentine’s day gifts should be something romantic, or even just a romantic night together. This day is all about celebrating your love for each other, so find a gift that really reflects that.

What do you buy your wife for Mother’s Day?

Mother’s Day is about showing her how much you appreciate her. Your gift to her tells her that you do notice all the things she does and are thankful for them.

A thoughtful gift that shows this could be as simple as giving her the day off and doing all the housework/parenting by yourself.  Maybe even sending her for a spa day.

When should you buy an appreciation gift for your wife?

If you really want to impress your wife, buy her a small gift just to say I appreciate everything you do. 

There doesn’t always have to be a special occasion to give her a gift.

How do I make my wife feel special?

If you really want to make your wife feel special, make sure you’re talking to her in her love language.  While many women like to receive gifts, for some woman this isn’t what really makes them feel loved. 

Read the book “The 5 Love Languages” so you can find out what your wife’s love language is and you will know how to make her feel special, not just for special occasions, but all the time.

So, Husbands, now that I have taught you how to give a thoughtful gift to your wives, you need to start paying attention to all those hints she has been dropping and writing them down.

Because there are no more excuses for thoughtless gift giving.

Pay attention to what your wife says and what she is interested in, and you won’t have to keep googling “Best Gifts for Wives”.

Sincerely,

A wife who would like her husband to learn how to buy thoughtful gifts for her.

Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook so you don’t miss any future “Dear Husband” letters and to see what else I learn on my journey to live a healthier and happier life.