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Mother-daughter dates are a great way to spend some quality time with your daughter. But sometimes our kids need more than just a day with us to help build a strong mother-daughter relationship (or repair a damaged one). So, what do you do when another mother-daughter day just isn’t enough?
You plan out the best mother-daughter trip.
I have to admit, with all the stress that I was under last year, I didn’t always give my kids the quality time that they needed.
Now that things have settled down a bit around here, spending more quality time with my kids has become a priority. The Husband and I have been prioritizing spending more time with the kids doing family outings, movie nights and other activities. But there was something we had overlooked.
We weren’t spending enough one on one time with each kid.
A few weeks ago, Lil Sis told me she feels like Big Sis gets all the attention. Having an older sister with special needs can be hard, and she has been expressing her difficulties with that a lot recently.
She’s right too. Big Sis requires close supervision all the time, which means either me or The Husband always have our eyes on her. While I don’t consider this close supervision to be quality time with her, it is still time that we are focused on her and not on Lil Sis.
Since that conversation, I have made sure to spend more one on one time with Lil Sis. But I also wanted to do something special for her, to make up for the neglect that she was feeling and the mommy guilt that I had.
So, I decided that I would plan a trip for just the two of us.
Why A Trip and Not Just A Mother-Daughter Day?
Last year when I was at the height of my stress, The Husband and I went away for a couple of nights. It was the first time in months I had been able to distract myself from my stress, and just relax and have fun.
Planning a mother-daughter day can be a great way to get some quality time in with your daughter, but let’s admit it, all the everyday stressors of life will still be there. It’s hard to get away from all those distractions so you can give your child your full attention.
Going on a trip gets you physically away from all those distractions, which makes it a lot easier to get away from them mentally too. Being away from it all makes will allow you to slow down, appreciate all the little things and truly enjoy that time with your daughter.
Best Mother Daughter Trip Ideas
So, have I convinced you that you need to take a mother-daughter trip too?
Great, but where should you go? What is the best destination for a perfect mother-daughter trip?
A mother-daughter spa getaway was the most common idea I came across, there were lots of spa resorts that had mother-daughter vacation packages. Sure, a massage would be nice, but is that really what your 9-year-old will want to do? How relaxing is that mommy-daughter massage going to be with your little chatterbox laying next to you?
If you have a big budget for your trip, an all-inclusive resort on a nice island would be perfect. Or maybe even a cruise. Both of those options will have a ton of kid and family-friendly activities for the two of you to do together.
But, if you’re like me and need to plan your trip on a budget, you may need to get a bit more creative and look at destinations closer to home. Even if you can’t go far, there are still lots of options for fun vacations.
Really, the best destination for your mother-daughter trip is one that focuses on something that your daughter is interested in.
Your little ballerina would probably love to go see The Nutcracker live. An animal lover will be thrilled to spend a day or two at the zoo. Was your child excited to tell you about something they learned about at school? See if there’s a museum or science center you could travel to with an exhibit on that topic.
The best thing about finding a destination that is based on your child’s interests is that it gives you a chance to step into their world for a bit and really get to know your daughter better.
When I started looking for somewhere for me and Lil Sis to go, I got lucky and came across an ad for the Toronto Comicon. Right away I knew that Lil Sis would love it. Then I saw that the aquarium was close by too.
While Lil Sis’s response when I asked her if she wanted to go to the aquarium was a not-so-enthusiastic “sure”, as soon as we were there, I knew it was perfect for her. We couldn’t even make it through the entrance before she found an aquarium to stare into for 10 minutes.
How to Make Your Trip into a Great Bonding Experience
So, you have the hotel room booked. You found some fun attractions or events that your daughter will love. You’ve got the plane/train tickets or have planned out your driving route. Everything is all set.
But how do you make sure this trip is the best? How can you use this time together to help build a strong mother-daughter relationship?
Plan Some Bonding Time
The point of this trip is to get some quality one on one time in, right?
So, look for opportunities on your trip to have some meaningful conversations with your daughter.
Will you be driving a couple of hours to get there? Instead of letting her play on the tablet use the drive to get some good talk time in.
Don’t overbook your trip either. Make sure there are lots of opportunities to just hang out.
As you walk from one attraction to the next, slow down and take in the scenery together. Instead of having fast food at every meal, plan to eat at one nice sit-down restaurant so you can enjoy your daughters’ company.
Our hotel was walking distance to all our attractions, so I and Lil Sis had lots of time to talk, while we looked at all the scenery. We enjoyed a nice buffet breakfast at the hotel and took our time with it while we reflected on everything we had done the day before.
Be Flexible
One of my favorite parts of traveling is planning the vacation. But for this trip, I kept the planning to a minimum.
While it can be tempting to pack your vacation full of activities, keep things a bit more open and let your child make some of the plans too. Try not to overbook yourselves, so your daughter has a chance to chose some things she wants to do that you may not have thought about.
If you’re going somewhere that requires a bit of planning ahead, start the mother-daughter bonding early and let her sit down with you and plan out the trip ahead of time.
While I had planned the day and time we would do the aquarium and Comicon, I didn’t make any plans for how long we would spend at each or what we would do there. Lil Sis was completely in charge of that and we did it all at her pace.
At the aquarium I let her take her time at each exhibit. I never asked her if she was ready to move on, instead, I waited until she told me she was. While the Husband and I had only spent a couple of hours at the aquarium when we went, me and Lil Sis were there for over 4 hours. I was glad that I hadn’t planned anything else for afterward, so she was able to take all the time she wanted there.
Be in The Moment
Don’t forget the point of this trip is to spend time with your daughter. You’re here to make memories, so don’t worry about where you’re going next, or that you’re going faster or slower than you had planned. Just focus on being in the moment.
Give her your full attention and really listen to her. You might learn some things you didn’t know. Appreciate her excitement and all those little things about her that make her unique.
I couldn’t help but take lots of pictures of Lil Sis every time she would point something out to me, with the look of pure joy in her eyes. Even the husband noticed how happy she looked when he saw all our pictures. While I had to take a few pictures, the rest of the time I really just focused on being there with her and enjoying her excitement.
During the 20 minutes we spent watching the stingrays, we sat together and came up with stories to explain why one stingrays’ tail was bent or how another one had lost his. When she got to the area where you could touch a stingray, I just stood back and watched as she would reach for one and turn around with excitement to tell me how it felt.
Take the Time to Learn About Your Child
Use your time together to really listen to your daughter. You will be amazed at all the things you will learn about her. Listen to her go on and on about the things that interest her, you may find her telling you thing you didn’t know (and didn’t realize she knew).
I learned a lot about Lil Sis on our trip.
I learned that she can see the beauty in all creatures, even a cod.
I learned that she is observant. She was able to point out so many details that I wouldn’t have seen. I never would have noticed that there were fish hiding in the sand at the bottom of one aquarium if she hadn’t pointed it out to me.
At Comicon, I learned that she is brave, and not as shy as I had thought. When she heard an announcement inviting all the cosplayers to come to walk the red carpet, she excitedly wanted to do it. She had no problem getting up there in front of the crowd and doing her Rey pose like a pro.
Let Your Child Teach You
A mother-daughter trip is a great opportunity to let your child teach you about their interests. Give them your full attention, and take the time to ask some questions. Let them pull you into their world for the day.
While Lil Sis taught me a lot about fish at the aquarium (I really don’t know where the kid learned it all from), Comicon was where I really got to step into her world.
Ever time we walked by the Star Wars booth, and there was a new character there to pose with, she knew who it was. There were lots of other characters she was able to tell me about too. There was a kid wearing a marshmallow hat with a face on it, which is apparently a DJ named Marshmellow, and another with a coffee cup on his head, apparently a video game character named Cuphead.
While I had never heard of some of these characters when we got there, by the time we left I had learned all about them.
Give In
Making this trip as fun as possible for your daughter means being a bit more lenient on some things. Go ahead and say yes to some of those things she is used to hearing no on. Spoil her a bit, the smile on her face will be worth a few extra bucks on the souvenir, even though you know she will never look at once you get back home.
While Lil Sis already has too many stuffed animals at home, I let her go ahead and pick out a stuffed stingray at the aquarium. Then at Comicon, she found a Pokémon stuffy she wanted, along with some Pokémon cards and a pair of earrings. And of course, there were a couple of treats she asked for that I said yes to too.
Plan Some Downtime
It’s tempting to cram as much activity into your vacation as you can, but planning some down time at the hotel is another great way to get in some quality time with your daughter. Plan to head back to the hotel a bit early so you can have that extra one on one time.
I always make sure to get a hotel with a pool when I travel with my kids. Sometimes taking in all the sights and attractions can be overwhelming. Or if you’re doing something lower key, your kids may still have some built up energy when you get back to the hotel room. Either way, a pool is great for allowing kids to get out some extra energy, or just relax in to unwind. And it’s a great place to have some fun together.
Even just spending some time relaxing in the hotel room together is great for bonding. Without all the distractions that you usually have at home, like the sink full of dishes, it’s a lot easier to stay focused so you can give your daughter your full attention.
Me and Lil Sis headed back to the hotel after dinner on the first day of our trip and headed right down to the pool. We spent over an hour there, lounging on the swings, playing together in the pool and relaxing in the sauna.
While I thought she would find the sauna boring, she actually enjoyed it. She made herself comfy laying down and said “now this is relaxing”. Hmm, maybe she would have liked a spa trip?
Afterward, we headed back to the hotel room, talked while we ate a snack and then cuddled in bed and found a movie to watch together on tv.
After having the best mother-daughter trip, you’ll realize that this is just what you needed to work on your mother-daughter relationship with your child. Even if you don’t have the budget for a mother daughter vacation every year, plan out some regular day trips or just some mother-daughter dates for the two of you.
While I and Lil Sis were away, The Husband took advantage of the one on one time with Big Sis too. He took her to the trampoline place she had been asking to go to, and they had a great time bouncing together, though the Husband is still a little sore from all that jumping two days later.
So often when we go out as a family, The Husband and I have to be so focused on Big Sis for her safety. It was nice to be able to go somewhere with just Lil Sis and be able to give her all my attention. I learned so much from her and about her.
A mother-daughter trip was just what Lil Sis and I needed to get spend some real quality time together.
Where will you go on your mother-daughter trip? What other ways have you found to give your kids the individual quality time that t